Wednesday, May 29, 2013

"Just Give Him The Damn Ticket!"

This actually happened. 


I Hope This Is Explained In The New Will Smith Movie
Justin Bieber, just a few episodes shy of Amanda Bynes'ing, reportedly sped through the exclusive SoCal conclave of Calabasas in his white Ferrari, disrupting a Memorial Day family gathering. 


One of his neighbors at the cook-out decided to do something about the menace-on-the-mic, chasing after the speeding Bieb's all the way to Bieb's driveway.  

Bielieb it or not.  

The neighbor getting his Gladys Kravitz on? Former New York
"What The Hell?"
Jets wide receiver, Keyshawn Johnson.  The man who penned, "Just Give Me The Damn Ball," pinned Bieber's Ferrari in, hopped out of his Prius (yes, Keyshawn chased Bieber's Ferrari in a Prius), barged past security and, according to ABC News, confronted the wispy singer. 

"Slow down, son. You may hurt someone," is probably not the warning Johnson uttered, but for the sake of Bielebers out there, let's go with the G-Rated version of events. 

To get this straight...

Keyshawn Johnson driving a Prius, chased a Ferrari-driving Justin Bieber, through a swanky southern California neighborhood.  To top it off, former SMU Mustang and L.A. Ram, Eric Dickerson chimed in.  


The Goggled One Has Rollin Herold's Blessing


Memories Of His Ride


Marweed Is Not On Dickerson's Side!`
It's like Saturday Night Live crashed a  Nick 10 Studio wrap party and posted the results on Twitter.   

Please, for the love of all things good and righteous in the world of sports, will someone do something on the actual field of play to get this out of my memory?

Oh... someone has jumped in to help! 
DIONER with another GONER!

It's Chicago Cubs back-up catcher, Dioner Navarro.  Navarro owned 55 at bats and 3 Home Runs before today's game with their Southside rival White Sox.  By the end of the 9-3 drubbing by the Cubbies, Navarro was the toast of Chicago's North Side after mashing THREE tators in three at bats, becoming the first catcher to record tres trips around the track in a game since Pittsburgh's George Mitterwald did it in 1974--against the Cubs.  

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Whether or not Navarro travels down Tuffy Rhodes, the American version (225 Career Games, 14 HR's after blasting three in the Cubs season opener in 1994 off Dwight Gooden) or Tuffy Rhodes, the Japanese version (445 Nippon Professional League Home Runs, 10th All-Time) remains to be seen. 

For now, I'm just happy to have the "W" flag flying at Wrigley. Beats the Freak flags flying in southern California.